HELP! I'M UNDER PRESSURE!!

Have you achieved all your set goals for the year? Are you beginning to feel pressured because you are not close? If your answers are negative, this is definitely for you.

Everyday, we find people who are unhappy and frustrated. They feel like that they are being placed under a heavy load. The load is so heavy that some just get crushed beyond recognition. They lose shape, moral, motivation and enthusiasm.
They seem to be under some kind of pressure.

Lets take a look at the different things that could make us feel under pressure.
1. I'M YET TO BE MARRIED AND I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!
Ladies are mostly guilty of this. They begin to feel uneasy when many of their friends hook up and get engaged or married. They begin to put pressure on men around them who seem to be interested in them. This is one sure way to chase men away. They will run as fast as their legs will carry them because, who wants to be with a desperate lady?

Even if you are 35 years old, dignify yourself. Don't give yourself away cheaply to any man. Some parents are guilty of asking funny questions too about this period. They begin to remind their kids that because they are yet to be married they are likely to be under achievers in life. 

This is a NO! NO!!

Position yourself to be impervious to such ridicule. You already know you are not the only one so why freak out? A delay does not equal a denial. A setback does not last forever!

2. I'M YET TO GET A GOOD JOB, WHEN WILL I SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE A FAMILY?
Men are constantly being measured by the amount of money in their account. They are made to feel less human by their family members and friends. This is why some men resort to criminal activities! I dare you to refuse to give up on yourself because people don't believe in you! 
If you are yet to secure your dream job, believe you will. Don't give up on God. He is yet to be done with you.
Choose to work at your own pace. Someday, you will hit it big and everyone will celebrate you. 

3. GOD DOES NOT ANSWER MY PRAYERS FAST, HE WANTS TO HUMILIATE ME!
I decided to add this point because many people are giving up on their faith in God because they feel its not worth it. In church you will hear people boast about how God answered their prayers very quickly and how they never suffered any setbacks in life. My dear friend, its all a lie! 

We all experience periods of waiting even as devoted Christians. If you read your bible in St. Luke chapter 8, you will find the disciples of Jesus in the midst of a storm and Jesus although present did not quickly calm down the tempest. He left them to try all they could before stepping into the scene. 

All humans go through different stages in life. If you do not give up, some day you will share your story to inspire others and they will begin to wonder if you ever had it rough once.

I would like to share an experience I recently had with you.
I was listening to a message by a woman of God I respected. She spoke extensively and I was blessed until she started to talk about herself. She is in her fifties and has been married for over thirty years. She is a grandmother and an accomplished lady. She said at age thirty she already had four kids and was able to return to school.
For a moment, I looked at myself and said "How I wish I would also be like her. If only I would have all my kids before age thirty and travel the world with my husband.... I nearly started to murmur to God. I reminded Him that I wasn't married yet and if I do get married today, I won't meet up to this woman's standard. 

I felt jealous and my happiness flew away. I secretly wished I would be able to say that in the next thirty years. In the midst of this, I realised I was being unneccesarily worried. In the midst of the garbage we hear every day, I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY and contented with where I am right now. Like one proverb says, I may not walk fast, I may not run quickly but I would make sure I would not walk backwards. 
God's time is the best.

4. I'M NOT SO SMART! I WON'T BE SUCCESSFUL
A twelve year old student of mine once met me in class and asked me a question. "Ma, Can I ever be one the honors roll?" I didn't hear him right at first so he repeated himself. 

For a moment, I was shocked. I didn't know the right words to say... I remembered that back in secondary school I was never on the honors roll and it hurt me. This child sincerely wanted better grades and was most likely working hard at it. He just wasn't there yet.

I imagined what his parents may have said to him during the break. They might remind him of how they had straight A's all through high school (all parents were geniuses) and how he isn't showing gratitude to them with his grades. 
It is good to have good grades but the truth is that not everyone will have A's. I remember that my Dad appreciated my C's as much as my A's back then. I always tried my best but some subjects proved difficult for me. We weren't able to afford home tutors to come help me but the little I managed to get was appreciated.

Many parents should learn from my Dad. Stop mounting pressure on your child because his grades are not the best in the class. Encourage them, ask them what they need to improve. Tell them you believe in them or watch them develop into adults with inferiority complex issues. Tell your kids that they can and will excel at other things they are good at (some are good singers, artists, speakers). 

Can you imagine the amount of negative speeches children listen to because they failed to pass their O' Level exams at one trial? We tell them they are good for nothing and they believe us. 

Elder sisters, Brothers, Guardians etc take note of these. You are putting them under unnecessary pressure and if they have tried their best you might just push them too far and make them turn into nuisances.

What do we say about parents who make their kids study subjects they are not interested in? They make them take Physics, Chemistry, etc because they want to tell their friends that their kids are studying Medicine, Law, Engineering and so on. Remember its not your life, it is theirs!

My point today is, stop putting pressure on people.You are not perfect so why force others into your own mold. 

If anyone is stressing you out, never finding any good thing in you, I advice you to square your shoulders and say to yourself, I'm good enough. 

Tell yourself; "I may not be married yet, but I'll meet my spouse soon and if not, I'll still live a great life. Marriage does not guarantee happiness".

"I may not have a million in my account, I'm hardworking and I'll soon hit my big break. If I never become the richest in my family, I won't lose hope. True happiness does not come from money.

I may not be the most gifted in Mathematics but I'm not dumb. I'll find my strength and develop it to the fullest. I'll give the best to whatever I do."

Whatever you might be going through now, refuse to be under pressure to meet some criteria. The truth about life is that we have different timelines (or destinies). Once in the University an older friend of mine consoled herself by saying, the fact that a friend her age graduated before her does not mean she would make it in life earlier.I agree totally with that. You may turn out to get ahead of those friends who seem ahead of you today. 

Your dreams of being a big business owner will some day materialize. You may not be 25 like you hoped but if you don't stop working hard at it, you will make it.

Your desire for a great marriage will some day blossom. You don't have to jump at the nearest loser because you are 35.Wait for your dream. 

Kill their criticisms with smiles and be happy with yourself. If you don't love yourself, who will love and accept you?

I BELIEVE IN YOU AND I HOPE YOU ARE BLESSED BY THIS

Thanks once again for stopping by, 

Princess Liz